i’m not the kind of girl who gives up just like that

Oh no-o-o-o!

So, yeah! Music is really jerking me around right now — oh so sad, singing my broken heart, and oh so upbeat, singing my hope and huge world of possibilities. Coming on the heels of the previous post, with water under the bridge, today the tide is high! Whee……

This morning Katie and I drove to the far side of San Antonio to pick up my new car. Wanna see? It’s an adorable little Toyota Prius c, which is the low end of the Prius spectrum (they call it the “affordable” end) — but it’s mighty great for me. And the little screen in the dash reported that I was getting 52-54 miles per gallon all the way home. Take that, you gas and oil hijackers.

When I get settled — probably at the beginning of the year, since I’m going back to NYC Dec 13-17 — I’m going to join the local chapter of the Threshold Choir. In Austin, there are 6 women in the choir, so come January there will be 7. I can’t wait for that. And I’ll need to get started looking for a book club, and I’ll start the process of organizing a poetry group. 

Things are looking up. I now have keys to something, and soon I will have keys to my new home. For 48 hours I didn’t have a key to anything or any place, and it was not a nice feeling. It’s funny how that feels, and by ‘funny’ I mean not funny at all. This was a theme in Another Bullshit Night in Suck City — keys and homelessness — and I thought of that book during my brief bout of keylessness.

I know there are all kinds of soft spots that I don’t know about, potholes, hidden hard things that I just haven’t thought about, like the loneliness of a Sunday afternoon (I’ve heard widows say that is the hardest time of the week), but after the past month, I feel like I can handle whatever is still ahead. I’m feeling more optimistic, and stable. I am going to be OK.