I’m not going to name names, but over the last several days I have learned so many great things from some of the women in my life. …..Pause here for a big whoop! whoop! for the women in my life, and you do one for the women in yours. Amen, sisters. I have learned things and been directed to resources and cared for. It’s been a very rich time, even though this was a miserable week of excruciating headaches beginning Tuesday at 1am and finally ending this morning. Man. It’s been rough.
But here are some of the things I have learned:
- Spontaneous calls from down under are a blast on a Friday night just before going to bed. Highly recommended — get one if you can!
- The Wake-Up Project, based in Australia, shared with me by a true sweetheart when the world’s tragedies and troubles were weighing me down a little more than I could take. Check it out. The kindness cards they have are only available in Australia, but I can make my own and participate. The focal point of the project is mindful living and kindness — how great is that?
- I’ve lost the weight I wanted to lose, I know how to eat now, so it’s time to figure out how to just maintain where I am. Where eating is concerned I’ve been an all-or-nothing eater my whole life — though I eat very differently now, all the fruits and vegetables and whole grains so maybe the whole game has shifted. I am nervous about being able to stay here, and a friend said, “Believe in your ability to keep it off.” !!!! You know, I’ve never done that! It was never in my head. If anything was in my head, it was an unarticulated wonder how long this will last. What excellent and yet very simple advice. Yeah, I believe I will be able to keep it off. I do. Apply this to a problem you’ve struggled over for a long time.
- Pray simply for divine harmony. I have the most unformed, uncertain beliefs of a spiritual nature. I hang on to certain principles — be kind, love others, help when you can –but I don’t have a dogma, a belief of any kind in an afterlife, no idea who I talk to when I say prayers (most of which are like Anne Lamott’s: help, thanks, wow). When someone I love is struggling in some way I send good thoughts, etc., but still have an impulse to look out to the stars and say their names. But usually I’m being bossy and deciding what should be done. Instead, my dear friend prays for divine harmony, and I just love that. Heaven knows I don’t know the best thing, and heaven knows some of the very best things that have happened to me were born out of the worst things. I don’t know, I really like it and find a kind of deep comfort from it.
- It’s far too complex and detailed for a bullet point in a blog post, but a darling friend told me about a transformative and healing kind of writing. The metaphors in the approach made me cry and they feel so deeply true. I want to share it with a couple of people I know.
My beautiful friends are going through life writ large: falling in love, planning trips, going to Italy, returning from a family memorial service, hoping for new jobs, waiting for boyfriends to arrive, enjoying the happiness of a healing partner, dealing with cancer in their families, too many of those, dealing with loss, being filled with pride in their children, adoring their children, worrying about their children, life. I feel such incredible privilege getting to dance in the margins with them, share the hurt and worry with them. Such a privilege. And me, the back and forth traveling, a week of hard pain, lovely dinner with my children and grandson Friday night, weekly and reliable [wonderful] chat with my Chicago daughter Saturday morning, the final end of the lawsuit hallelujah, joys in my children and grandson, delicious food all around, gorgeous faces smiling at me, pleasure in my wonderful life, going to the theater with beautiful friends on Wednesday, and book club on Thursday. It’s worth pausing long and hard and noticing. My life is really wonderful right now and nothing hurts. Nothing is wrong. Everything is right, for the moment. It hasn’t been in the past, and it won’t be again, because that’s the nature of life — so it’s even more important to breathe and be mindful when it is.
I hope yours is. And if it’s not, your turn will absolutely come round again. Happy Sunday y’all. xo